Three Proofs That Jesus Was A Woman
- He managed to feed a crowd, at a moment’s notice, even though there was no food.
- He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t ‘get’ it.
- Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to be done.
On War, Women and a Genii
A woman, walking along the beach, found a Genii’s lamp and picking it up, she rubbed it. Out pops a Genii, and she demanded her three wishes.
The Genii said, “Bailouts! Inflation! Low wages, lost jobs, real estate in crisis. You get one wish. Make it snappy.”
“Ok.” She said, pulling a map out of her tote. “See this? I want these countries to become friends.”
The Genii looked at the map and exclaimed, “Ridiculous! They’ve been at war for thousands of years. I’m no miracle worker! Forget this. Make another wish.”
“Hmmm,” the lady said. “Bring me a man who is considerate and loving. He must love to cook. And housecleaning doesn’t make him disappear, he helps!” She got wound up and went on, “He’s sexy as hell, a great lover. Adores my family. Hates sports on TV. No cheating - ever! That’s my wish.”
The Genii’s eyes bugged out - his jaw dropped. He said, “Let me see that fricken map!”
