My mother was a Marine sergeant and served at Pearl Harbor. Those of you who know my writing, or know me, know she died several years ago and was honored with a full-military funeral. Women who served are working to raise money with quilt sales and bake sales to turn a pitiful wreck of a crumbling wall into a permanent memorial at Arlington National Cemetary. These women who served in World War II are dying now, one by one.

Soon, as with all of that generation, they’ll only be memories. How sad to see the material reminders of the service go down.

Here’s the story of the women who are hoping new generations of women, and men, will pick up the slack and allow women to be remembered for their contribution. Today’s military women, as the story points out, serve in combat, while our military mothers couldn’t as much. But the generations that came before us did what they could, gladly, and as volunteers to pave the way for todays’ women to serve the way they wish to.

The msnbc article says,

“Most of them are in wheelchairs and they are ill. All of their hair is white, and I look and I think, who knows how long we’ve got left. We just want to do our best while we’re here,” said Lorraine Dieterle, 84, a World War II veteran stationed in New York as a photographer for the Coast Guard who volunteers at the memorial.”

In 1997 when the current memorial was dedicated, a 100 year-old retired soldier named Freida Mae Hardin spoke to the crowd of 40,000 onlookers. I expect she’s gone now, but what she wanted was clear. If you have any way of getting involved or of helping, please do it.

More:

On rape in the military

For families, war is about fear

Resources for military women and military families

I am 60 years old. I lowered my blood pressure, lost significant weight and size, got a lot healthier, and feel wonderful. You can do it if you want to - without joining, spending, subscribing, or suffering at all. I have nothing to sell except solid advice and my experience.

Eight months ago, I turned 60 and had a rough time with the birthday. My blood pressure was high, even with meds. I had gained 20 pounds the prior year, and I have never been a small woman. I had become totally sedentary. I mean like c-o-u-c-h-p-o-t-a-t-o, mashed.

My excuses - I lived in southern Mississippi for a year - a place so hot and humid that it sucked the energy out of me. I went from doing water aerobics twice a day in my own Florida pool to sitting in a recliner most of the time, miserable, lonely, and unhappy. I moved us home to Illinois, despite my husband’s dislike of Midwestern weather. Then, he got cancer, had surgery, lost his job. My depression worsened, but I proclaimed I wasn’t depressed.

And I sat. I’m a writer. I’m supposed to sit. I medicated with food. Sugary food. Salty food. Even healthy food. Often.

My grown kids were having issues and I wallowed in theirs rather than fixing my own. Issues? I had whole subscriptions.

An old lady’s road to healthy success

People have always told me I look way younger than my age. Last year, people stopped saying that. More likely, they’d ask was I feeling ok, and when was the last time I had a physical?.

I’d say, “I’m 60″ and wait for the “Oh, I’d never have guessed!”

I heard - “Yep.” No surprise - I looked 60 and more.

So.

• Husband survived and recovered nicely.
• Kids moved on in their lives - we all do. Their troubles got fixed. More troubles came. They handled them. They don’t require me to manage their lives.
• Weather here does not prevent activity.

I began to get a clue. I could live long and prosper, or not.

I talked in depth with my doctor about nutrition, dieting, medicating with food. She said food can keep you alive or kill you. Your choice. Dieting is temporary and fairly useless unless you want to be a yoyo.  But food can be managed long term without deprivation torture.

Every human being needs physical activity to make bowels function, hearts beat, blood flow, and cells regenerate. It doesn’t matter, for a 60 year-old everyday woman,  whether that activity is 15 minutes or two-hours a day. If I do it regularly, enjoy it, and work up a little sweat, I’m doing myself immeasurable benefit. I don’t have to measure up to Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Oprah’s trainer, or any fitness guru. I only need to keep moving part of every day. Cool. I can do that.

But I like chocolate

I eat every food I enjoy, in normal portions. I learned I want to avoid, chemicals and poisons. I like close to nature foods. I seldom, seldom, seldom use artificial sweeteners except for a couple of hits of Truvia per week in a drink or a dessert. I drink pop once in a blue moon. I don’t add salt to anything. I avoid, but do not forbid myself sugar. I eat chocolate several times a week - almost always very dark chocolate (70% cacao or higher) and with portions controlled. An ounce, perhaps.

I had triple chocolate layer cake yesterday. I counted it in my food calculator. Worth every calorie, each bite a decadent pleasure. Over my tongue. Melting down my throat. Sweet flavor. Rich texture. I took a good wedge, gave my husband one, indulged, and gave the rest of the cake to my daughter’s family. No guilt. I don’t do guilt.

Today, I am enjoying light salads, steamed vegetables, and fresh fruit. I’m eating till I’m almost full, then I busy myself with something till I feel hungry, and do it all over.

I model my nutrition after the South Beach philosophy - their glycemic index makes sense to me - but anything that works for you is good. I am a terrific cook, and I cook Mediterranean style mostly, managing portions scrupulously.

This I know clearly -

Calories in - calories used = how much you weigh. It doesn’t matter if those calories are 100% chocolate, fat, sugar, or anti-oxidents, carbs, protein or cardboard. The math doesn’t lie. You don’t have to buy someone’s book or program to manage your health. Those things may motivate, but they are not magic.

Getting my ass off the couch

Knowing I had to get off that couch, I acknowledged the following:

1. I dislike sweating.
2. I am not cute in a leotard, nor do I feel comfortable strutting in one.
3. Pain is not my thing.

For me, the best thing is high-resistance water exercise. Advantaging a New Year’s promotion in the slumping health club industry, I joined my local club because they have three heated pools. They waived the hefty signup fee.  My life is worth the discounted $50 a month. I go three to five times a week and I work as hard in that pool as a football player in pre-season. I jog, I use dumbells, I swim, I stretch. I sweat, but who can tell when I’m in four feet of water?

• I ride a stationary bike while I watch Jeopardy, at least three times a week. It’s a 25 min workout that doesn’t bother my arthritis.
• I park my car at the back end of every parking lot.
• I store some everyday items on the second floor of my home. I go upstairs every time I need them, use them downstairs, and take them back up. I don’t send my kids or grandkids up to get anything I need.

I know this: If you increase your activity regularly and do not increase your food intake, you’ll lose weight gradually. You don’t need an exercise video. Don’t need to suffer. Just move. Sex helps, too. Good, safe, relationship sex.

Caring about yourself is a key

No matter how many resolutions I made or how much I worried about my health, nothing worked until I understood that:  I am at the last third or so of my time on Earth and I deserve to care about myself as much as I care about anyone else. If I don’t take care of me, I can’t take care of anyone else. If I don’t take care of me, no one else can.

I get in touch with my own needs, wants, and wishes.

• Can I babysit? You bet! I love those little kids. But I can’t do it every day, or for long hours. I can’t often do it without notice.
• Can I take a nap? Sure! And you can bet I’ll feel no guilt.
• I reserve the absolute right to say, “No”  to anything, anytime. No explanation required.
• I don’t negotiate my own truths, and I clearly know what they are.
• I love people, but not all people, and I’m not overly concerned about those who don’t like me. It’s unlikely I’ll  change greatly anymore - I have made many changes in myself over years, and I like who I am.
• Stress is natural and motivates us to accomplish. But stress must be managed and I am best at managing my own.
• I trust my health advisors and will do what they recommend as long as I understand all the ramifications.

What I learned and how it saved my life

I will never again be less than 60 and I have grown to be friends with that. I read somewhere that if you are alive in 2010, chances are you could live to well over 100 years old. A nice goal, I think.

Today, I went to see my doctor because I have an ugly, uncomfortable ear/sinus thing going on. Haven’t seen her in a year–since my last, rather distressing physical.

She said - “Wow! You look great! One of my youngest baby boomers!”

She took my blood pressure - remember, I’m sick with an infection and my BP is always higher in a doctor’s office. It was 120/78. I kid you not! Last reading was 148/90.

My weight has dropped by 20 pounds. My clothing size went down a whole size or more.

My heart rate was awesome. And last week, I had an eye exam.  That doctor said I have the organic eye-health of a 20 year-old. Last year? They saw floating protein gunk in my eyeball fluid and lectured me about diabetes risk.

Most days, I eat about 1500 calories. Maybe twice a week I am apt to go up to 2,000, and maybe once a month I’ll go all out and end up at 2500. I always use the next day to recover, reducing my food intake, increasing my non-sweet fluid intake, and being more physical.

I only sit at a computer or anywhere else for a max 90 min at a time. Then I get up - clean something, walk, run errands, or get active in some way before I go back to the sedentary activity.

I do things that make me smile or laugh - every single day. My grandkids are a big part of that, but so are friends, siblings, other family members, and online acquaintances.

I rest when I need to, thoroughly.

I meditate frequently and regularly with guided imagery tapes. They work extremely well for me.

I put all my troubles in two virtual buckets. A.) things I can fix and B.) things I can;t fix. I work through bucket (A) at a healthy once - recognizing my strengths and weaknesses. I reward myself for managing milestones from that bucket. (Rewards almost never involve food.) I let bucket (B) sit there and percolate. If it gets too full, I add another bucket. I spend a structure 15 minutes a week wallowing in worry about the contents, but I never take anything out of that bucket. The stuff will work itself into oblivion or into the other bucket when something has changed to permit me to handle an item.

I load my food program with anti-oxidents (who can resists blueberries, strawberries, great veggies?) healthy fats (oh yeah - give me those ripe avocados, premium olive oil, or well-prepared wild salmon!) I drink skim milk every day. I eat only foods that look, smell, and taste great. I fuss over our meals. We have selected several are restaurants that serve rational portions, don’t coat everything in salt, and really understand food preparation and cooking. I drink water all day long. I take an 80 gr aspirin a day and a multi-vitamin every other day because my Doc told me too.

I record everything I eat or drink almost every day. Probably five days a week - sometimes more. I do it scrupulously because lying to myself is pretty silly. I weigh myself sometimes, but not weekly and certainly not every day. I have found tracking weight monthly gives a realistic picture. Measuring myself, and paying attention to how my clothes fit and how I feel are much more meaningful than a number on a scale.

I don’t believe I will every be a slim woman. I never have been. Well, maybe once in 1967. I do believe a woman who is outside the recommended weights for her age can be healthy, happy, attractive, and can live long. I’m strong - I’ll take you on if you want me to! come on - Indian wrestle? Dance contest? Tug of war? I have good muscle tone - getting better. Great blood pressure. Healthy heart and a carotid scan showed less plaque than usual for my age. I’m happy, productive, talented, brilliant, healthy, and awesome as a friend or mentor. I love my own self.

And to think that I am practically an over night success! It only took me 60 years.

Read more:

Breast cancer advances may save lives

Young women strive for excellence

Having serious neglected these blogs for a month, I am back on track with a question. Has marriage become a temporary condition? While California gays expending enormous effort to gain the right to be married, fighting for same sex marriage, I wonder if heterosexuals have lost the ability to understand the entire idea.

I know a young couple, married for five years. Two children - prekindergarten and toddler. An idyllic couple, really; so in love they couldn’t wait to marry. Husband has great job. Nice home. Family support and encouragement. social life. Education. They have it all.

One day, the wife decides she’s bored. She trolls Facebook for someone to relieve the boredom. Her family watches her accumulate male “friends” on the website. Her husband, secure in knowing he provides well, helps out with the kids, runs to the grocery store when required, and tells wife she’s pretty when he thinks of it, feels pretty secure. Life is good. He believes women and men can be friends without hanky panky and he trusts his wife. He sits on his couch, a lot, watching TV. He’s tired - 60 hour work week.

Later, after it all implodes, she will tell. him she made a conscious choice to hurt him. She never articulates why. Boredom?

So the wife hooks up with a boyfriend - a guy the husband befriended when they served together in Korea, and later, Iraq, bombs bursting in air. The scumbag came to visit the couple often. Lived off them for a time - he doesn’t choose to work. Bonded with the wife while the husband slept.

The couple went on a lovely vacation with the kids. NO, not the husband and wife. The wife and the boyfriend. they traveled three states, posted photos of the happy family entertaining the children. Lovely mountain venues. Stayed with the wife’s mom for a bit. And then the wife came home, packed up three small backpacks, and ran away with the kids to another state, where the scumbag resided in a rusty trailer. He’s unemployed, of course.

Refused to come home. Husband got a court order to bring home his biological son, the toddler. Wife said - ok, fine. I have one child and a boyfriend.

The marriage has now become a “case.” The children are confused, lonely and scared. They have each lost one parent, and each other. One has lost his friends, his home, his toys, his school, his clothes, too. the wife says - hey, he’ll adjust and get over it. I have my boyfriend. But no job, no money, no prospects, no place to live. She bunks in with whatever people will have her and a child for however long.

The husband and wife send unbelievably accusatory text messages to each other more often than hourly. They phone each other on prepaid cell phones and detail what action they each will take next to make the other feel like trash. They are out to annihilate each other and it’s working.

The kids? Adjusting to an extent. On the outside. They laugh sometimes. They play, and at least one of them gets plenty of hugs. No one knows where the other is, in what conditions, or with whom.

The husband and wife aren’t gay. they have always had the right to choose a partner, create a “relationship” and marry without giving any thought to the long term. When the wedding is over and the housework sets in, the job takes over, the kids get messy and cranky, the dog pukes, and the in-laws interfere, the husband and wife have the right to dissolve the marriage.

Gays, all over the country, are petitioning and fighting for the same right. Perhaps they will get what they want and maybe they will have the good sense to figure the marriages they may create in the future are worth fighting for, not fighting about. We heteros seem to have lost that perspective. It is so damned easy to get bored, resent housework, feel tired, and run away to something else. But what happens to the kids?

Nearly every U.S. state has boiled divorce down to irreconcilable differences. You don’t have to have a reason to break up. You don’t have to think about the pros and cons. Just sign the papers, pay the lawyer, and walk away. Most women never recover financially. Most children never recover emotionally. But hey, if you’re bored with housework, you gotta do something, right?

Most women would jump on a legitimate work-at-home opportunity. Are you willing to learn a set of  professional skills and then work hard from home? Ghost writing may be for you. I warn you - ghost writing isn’t easy. The rewards? Set your own schedule. Work from where ever you choose - at home, your boat, a vacation locale. I’ve done it for years and so has Claudia Suzanne - the world’s most prolific, respected ghosts. Cash in on her secrets - this isn’t a sales pitch, it’s a clue.

I’ve worked at home for three decades, successfully, and am always on the look out for job opportunities that women can use long term to make a living while raising a family or enjoying personal freedom. Four months ago, I met a phenomenal writer, Claudia Suzanne. She has written more than 100 books - fiction and non-fiction, but you probably don’t recognize her name. That doesn’t bother her.

What does a ghost writer do?

Ghost writer Claudia, well-known in the publishing industry and master of a satisfying income, says:

1. A ghost is a writer who reads an author’s manuscript, writes an evaluation of the strengths and weaknesses, then presents professional recommendations to the author. The goal: to get the manuscript attention and respect it deserves upon submission. The ghost must learn to evaluate from a positive point-of-view.
2. The ghost, with the author, refines and polishes a manuscript so it pleases the author and meets professional standards. The ghost may simply do a thorough edit, or rewrite most of it, with author-input. The ghost must learn how the publishing industry ticks, effective editing, and how to maintain any author’s voice.
3. The ghost puts together a professional quality proposal package for the author to submit. The ghost must learn what agents look for.
4. The ghost gets paid. A lot. The ghost must learn how to be worth it.

How to learn the right way to market yourself as a ghost

I signed on to audit Claudia’s 14-week ghost writer training program. Audit, as in she waived the tuition so I could report to you women. Two weeks into the program, I was so impressed with her teaching, her knowledge, and the value of the class that I paid the tuition. Claudia has fueled new, lucrative careers for hundreds of students. Her past students have branched into editing, small press publishing, novel writing, and lots of other fields.

If you need a new career and have experience or solid skills as a writer - you could do a lot worse than investing in this ghost writer certification training. The pace is like a master’s level college program - the work serious and multi-layered. Weekly class time is three hours; homework is at least five hours. The “classroom” is a telephone conference call each week - an extremely effective distance learning method. Claudia’s style is warm, professional, serious.

If you take the certification training and meet completion requirements, you’ll earn the only ghost writing certification in the industry. You’ll learn how to find customers, set rates that reflect your level of expertise, and how to make a name for yourself in the business, even though your name may never appear on a book’s cover.

Ghost writing is one of the fastest growing careers. As the changing publishing business lets more people publish writing cheaply and quickly, more people want to write books. But many understand they don’t know how. They are willing to pay for help. You can put yourself in the hands of one of the most respected ghosting experts and learn to provide that expert help.

Read the details about ghost writing certification training.

Read more:

A review of Claudia’s course

This morning, anyone caring to tune in could be subjected to Sarah Palin and Oprah Winfrey at the same time. Sarah is hawking her new book because it will make her a ton of money. Oprah is hawking anything she thinks will support her flagging viewership - and right now that something is probably Sarah Palin.

You can’t turn to any medium right now and not get Sarah and Oprah, Oprah and Sarah. Sara in short shorts on the cover of Newsweek. There’s presidential material. Oprah, thank goodness, not in shorts. Don’t kid yourself. Sarah is not presidential material, nor is she interested in being president of anything. She’d probably quit in mid term. She is interested in a couple of million bucks that will come from the sale of this book. Why will the book sell? Ya got me.

But it will. In a time when Pulitzer Prize-winning writers are unemployed and long-respected publication go toes up, this gunk will sell so Sarah Palin and her co-writer(s) pd their bank accounts. Perhaps it’s just another indication that the demand for quality writing is giving way to junk content. Perhaps just salacious curiosity. Ms. Palin, like her never-quite-made-it son-in-law, trashes lots of people in her book. Readers like seeing people trashed.

As for Oprah - she’s just getting really scary. She books anyone who is controversial, difficult to look at, tragic, or slimy. Then she either grills them or hugs them, depending on what her handlers tell her will make for a better audience reaction.

I used to like Oprah for her sort of rogue, er, maverick, positioning. Now, she’s just stale. Sarah? I’m embarrassed for her each time she opens her mouth. I can do without both of them - and I did, choosing reruns of Jerry Seinfeld over Oprah’s show this morning. What was it Letterman said? Something about the Mayan prediction of the end of the world in 2012 being linked to any possibility that Sarah could be president. Whew. Could you tolerate the simpering and giggling for four years? What a thought. Bring on the Mayans.

Women, we are nurturers who often forget to nurture ourselves. Here’s a quick one-day vacation that will help your rid your life of the people and things that suck the breath out of you and clutter up your karma. Do this activity a couple of times a year and I promise you will live more happily, have more time for the things that matter, and rid your consciousness of people who drain you but add nothing to the quality of your life. Follow me.

Begin like this:

Take one full day off. No phone, email, doorbell, TV, or conversation with anyone but yourself. Sit quietly with your breakfast coffee- tea - whatever. Close your eyes. Take five full minutes to empty your mind. Open your eyes and make a list of things that are taking your time on a day-to-day or hour-by-hour basis. Next to each, jot ideas about your feelings - gut impulses. Do you generally react to these things (or people) postively or negatively. Consider your overall ipressions. We can feel negatively toward everyone or anything in our lives and sometimes. You’re looking for those things that just weigh you down all the time.

Put the list away and spend the rest of the day doing things that only benefit YOU. While you do that, talk to yourelf, honestly, all day, about things that are giving you difficulty. Listen to yourself. At day’s end, take the list back out and pick two things to modify or eliminate so that you regain time and energy they are sucking up. If it’s your significant other that comes to the surface - you will need to do some deep soul searching to discover what changes must be made to make that relationship work for you. Sometimes, you’ll need to find professional counseling to help you determine if that relationship is one you should keep, or one you’d be better off ending.

Take the two activities, things, or people you’ve identified and put them in a little box at the front of your mind. Everyday,for a few days pull each of them out and carefully consider what your next best move should be. Consider this from the point of view of helping yourself regain your time and space. Make a decision - change, eliminate, reprioritize, or put the thing out of your schedule for a while. If it’s a person, try not seeing him, or not catering to her, or being to busy to respond for a while. Once you’ve made your decision, trust your instinct. Act on the decision with strength, courage, and determination.

Let me know how it went.

Do yourself a favor and find a way to volunteer for an organization you like. It’s good for the soul - yours, and theirs. It’s non-fattening, and has no free radicals. Well, some of us from the 60s might be considered freed radicals, and a lot of us volunteer. Spend an hour this week volunteering - read how volunteering changed life for our guest writer, Jennifer A. Lee from Volunteer Gear, Inc..

In my younger days, a creamy, dark, sweet substance found its way into my not so chubby tummy (again, I was younger) when the days were dark. Dipped in peanut butter, the day became even brighter.

As I have aged, my body has changed, my metabolism has slowed and my worries have become more real and chocolate can’t seem to solve all of life’s problems any longer. The most unexpected

replacement for my favorite sweet has emerged - volunteering.

My life over the last several years has been difficult at best. From launching a business to raising three kids to marital struggles, financial problems and ultimately a divorce and a business closing, many days, weeks and even months left me in a state of panic.

I was in the midst of all of my struggles when I volunteered to serve with the Meals on Wheels committee at my church. Meals on Wheels, also known as Golden Diners, is a program run by the Salvation Army. Volunteers deliver hot and cold meals to local area seniors on a daily basis. In my area, local churches sign up for delivery every 4 months. The churches have a coordinator that assigns days of service to the volunteers. Typically two people are assigned a route. In some cases they ride together and in other cases, they split the route.

On my days of service, Cody (my one year old Old English Sheep Dog) and I head to the Senior Center. Occasionally one or more of my three kids partakes in the excursion. The Senior Center packs the food and provides the delivery list. Cody and I map out our route and begin our drive.

Each delivery is a little different. Some folks are bed ridden and a care taker accepts the meals. In other homes, it is a widower welcoming the company you provide for the day. One lady welcomed me into her home so I could chat with her husband sitting in the family room chair. One gentleman needed the company of our visit, but never would accept it. For some folks, the volunteer may be the only person they see all week.

After delivering the route a few times, you become attached to these people, people you spend a very short time of your life with but the care and concern you have for them is real. You worry about them if they are not listed on the route or if they are not home when you stop.

I began this journey of service to do just that, serve others. What I found is that those I was serving were actually serving me. I gained a greater sense of peace with each delivery. My day became brighter. My stress diminished and some of my problems did not seem as important. I look forward to my delivery months.

Volunteering is good for the mind body and soul. Serving others can be accomplished in so many ways from chairing the committee that raises money for a cause to coaching a child’s sports team to volunteering at the local food pantry to buying the food that stocks the shelves at the food pantry. Knowing that you made a difference in someone’s life is the greatest reward. The fact that it took me 42 years and many days at the gym to replace the comfort of chocolate was a lesson well worth learning.

Jennifer is the operations director for Volunteer Gear, Inc. a unique new company that encourages volunteers to share their stories, comment and encourage others to own their cause. Founded on the premise of giving people an outlet for their volunteer spirit, Volunteer Gear launched its website and t-shirt product line promoting volunteerism and encouraging people to support own their cause.