The new year - lots of people have resolved to get healthy and fit. To keep up the momentum, we all need positive re-enforcement, and women are tempted to sneak a little treat, or a big one, like ice cream, chocolate, a bag of Oreos (hey, I was really good for two weeks!)You can choose from 14 ways to reward yourself without calories or guilt.

Set personal goals to demonstrate to yourself how much progress you’re making. Each time you reach a goal, reward yourself. Here’s a list of fourteen things you can give yourself that won’t sabotage your good intentions.

1. If it has to be food, find a healthy and fit recipe for a sumptuous dessert that isn’t loaded with calories.
2. Buy yourself a new handbag or tote bag. Always a cool feeling.
3. Go to a movie with a friend who absolutely shares your taste.
4. Buy some new music, slap on headphones, and listen to the album all the way through.
5. Buy a new sweater - bright, warm, and natural fabric.
6. Get a new coffee cup that’s 100% only for you. A big one.
7. Go out and play - find a venue that provides everything you need for an afternoon of noodling around. Our community has a little ceramic shop where you buy a piece, rent a table space, and paint your chosen item. They fire it and call you a few days later when it’s done.
8. Find a set of colored pencils, paint, or chalk and create something colorful.
9. Do the proverbial bubble bath with all the accoutrements.
10. Shut off the phones, lock the door and meditate or do creative visualization in total silence.
11. Put fresh flowers on your desk or work space or table. Bury your nose in them and breathe deeply.
12. Take a day off. Don’t work. Don’t clean. Don’t make calls. Rest. Relax.
13. Spend half a day in the park, reading a wonderful book.
14. Take a nap in silky pajamas.

More cool reading:

OnText for the writer in you

DigitalGrandparent for the tech side of your life, even if you aren’t a grand.

How to become a local politician - election advice

This morning, VibrantNation.com posted a bit about someone’s “inner old lady” and the phrase resonated gleefully inside me. It’s a fascinating concept bouncing across women-centric sites this year and I love it. Nurturing our inner old lady seems much easier than worrying about inner child.

Here’s the deal. I’m not old, though my daughter, in particular, can’t stop making little observations about my age, the year I was born, and the two gray hairs I have. But there is a little old lady living inside me who will ultimately make an appearance. I want to spend some time nurturing her now so that when she comes out to stay, in maybe 40 years, I’ll be ready and she will be socialized.

For example. I will enjoy seeing her wear purple - possibly with orange mixed in or next to the purple. The brighter the better. Perhaps trousers with splashy flowers. I will love her gray hair.

She can speak her mind and say what she wants, but she can’t be mean and curmongeonly. I want the lines aorund her mouth to be laugh lines like my grandma’s were - not frown lines. No drool will be tolerated.

Inner old lady will not be allowed to wear chemically formulated perfumes. There is nothing less appealing than the trend of mature women dowsing themselves with designer label perfumes over dime store hairspray. It stinks and my inner old lady will not be so crass. Essential oils (NOT patchouli) are encouraged. Maybe a nice sage flower essence.

My inner old lady will be welcome to play - by herself, with my grandkids, or with anyone who is so inclined. She can laugh aloud. I’d love to see her slap her knees and get totally giddy over kites and kids on swings (ok, I admit it, I do that now).

I’ll cherish my inner old lady - in or out - but will require that she and I continue to remember what it is like to by young or inexperienced. We will never lord it over young people or require anyone to make way for us simply because we’re aging. Should anyone care to open a door for us, we’ll thank them and be grateful. We’ll offer help and wisdom where we can, but no one is obliged to take either.

She will be encouraged to oogle fine looking men, or women, perhaps pinch a butt here or there. She can feel and think like a sexy human. Wrinkles notwithstanding.

I’ll love the inner old lady-crone because she is simply another iteration of myself and I am pretty fond of me. I’ll soothe her wrinkled brow, bring her a heating pad for arthritic joints, and excuse her lapses of social graces. She has paid some dues.

I love the idea of nurturing my inner old lady. Giving her permission to age gracefully, without plastic surgery or chemical injections feels just right for me. I remember how graceful, kind, and warm my grandmother was. She looked like a grandma and felt like one. I could do worse than to end up like her.

Take a moment to check out my guest post at HealMyPTSD.com for PTSD and Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I was invited to do a guest column because two of my family members are dealing with PTSD. It’s really tough to cope with an illness or condition that is invisible. There are physical symptoms, but often, people chalk those up to some other cause. HealMyPTSD is a valuable website by people who have knowledge and great concern.

While we’re at it, let’s visit some of my favorite posts over the years of compiling WomenDayByDay and Ontext:

A guest post from Thistle Farm, where women work to fix the hugely challenging problems in their lives. This one is terrific.

Women who read us honor their military loved ones for Memorial Day.

Proof that Jesus was a woman, and other funny stuff.

The courts are failing to help battered women.

22 ways to earn aliving at home - work at home

Basing marriage on positive thinking

Dr. Phil and the drunken teenage girls

Half dozen good ways for women to enter the blogsphere

Light therapy for pregnant women

There. That’s a little journey through the last few years of Women Day By Day. It’s rewarding to spend time digging up great information for my readers and empowering women to manage some of the things we face everyday. I’ve really loved finding guest writers to do a post here and there this year. Let me know if you know someone with something important, funny, or entertaining to tell us. Write me — maryan at ontext.com

As empowerers of women, we’re interested in how PTSD recovery, or any health outcome, may be in our own hands. My family is intimately familiar with PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of our readers understand the condition, too, especially among the many military families following this column. Michele Rosenthal is an empathetic, informed, caring professional with excellent thoughts for us.

Healing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: 5 Tips for Empowering Your Recovery

By Michele Rosenthal, Heal My PTSD

Let’s just get to the problem straight up: The single most challenging component of trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is that horrible experience of powerlessness. During you trauma you feel it, and then for weeks or months or years afterward your PTSD struggle reinforces in every moment the idea that you are powerless to overcome. But is that really true?

Survivors are tough. They have, after all, survived something challenging. This means they have courage, determination, creativity and resources. The problem is that in the PTSD fog it’s easy to forget the innate capabilities you have to heal.

While all traumas are individual the PTSD experience is universal. Whether you survived a theater of war, violent sexual assault, childhood abuse, domestic violence, freak accident or medical drama the aftermath is the same: Functionally debilitating flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, anxiety, rage, hyperarousal, hypervigilance and emotional numbing.

The good news is you are not destined to live this way forever. It is fundamentally possible to heal PTSD and go on to live a joyful, productive life. First, however, you need to take back your power. Healing begins and ends with your own ascension back to the powerdome. In healing this means taking control of the healing process, participating in it and being responsible for it.

The following five tips will jumpstart any mental health recovery process. As they focus on taking back your power both in your communication and connection with yourself and with those around you, these five actions will move you from a position of powerless to powerful.

1 - Intention: You can’t heal if your focus is scattered. It’s time to be very specific about your healing desire. This means approaching the healing journey methodically and with well planned outcomes. The more you imagine and plan your success the more you will become able to achieve it. What do you want? Be very specific in how you visualize the end result of your healing, plus each step you plan to take. Make a plan, follow through. Healing is like any other goal, it must be worked at with deliberate dedication.

2 - Education: Knowledge is power. The more you know about what ails you the more intentional you can be in fixing it. Understanding PTSD symptoms, how and why they function, plus what and when you need for healing helps you devise a better gameplan for action.

3 - Connection: Support during healing is key. PTSD recovery is a tough goal and you’ll need the support of yourself and others you can depend on. Building a support network can be a critical element in the healing process. This includes family, friends, colleagues and practitioners who are devoted to helping you evolve. You are strong, yes, and it’s always nice to have extra reserves of strength from those around you.

4 - Communication: Part of healing means being able to tell yourself and others what is wrong, why it is wrong, when it all went wrong, who was involved and how you feel. It’s tough to talk about trauma but healing begins and reaches deeper levels when you develop language and vocabulary. Communicating allows you to pinpoint what part of the PTSD process is really driving you; from there you can develop a plan for healing that is direct and effective.

5 - Commitment: PTSD healing doesn’t happen overnight. Despite the difficulties that ensue and the challenges that arise you must give 100% of yourself and never waver. There will be good days and bad ones but your oath to heal at all costs must remain strong. Doubt has no place in healing. You must commit to the idea and then follow through despite all obstacles.

The major crux of healing any mental illness lies in your ability to imagine a better self and then work hard to get there. By empowering your recovery with these easy steps you begin the process of placing the strategy and resources for healing squarely in your own lap - exactly where it should be. The brain likes to learn. Give it options. It wants new things to think and see and contemplate. Feed it with self-empowered healing thoughts and actions and you will heal, one day at a time.

Michele Rosenthal is a PTSD healing coach and the founder of Heal My PTSD, LLC, (www.healmyptsd.com), an organization that advocates for PTSD awareness, education, treatment and self-empowered healing. She is a licensed practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

(photo was provided)

by Michelle Seitzer, SeniorsforLiving.com

I may have found my new dream job: just check the June 12 edition of the New York Times for the article titled “Dusk-to-Dawn Therapy for Dementia’s Restless Minds.” The Hebrew Home at Riverdale (in the North Bronx, NY) boasts an amazing program called ElderServe at Night, dedicated to serving those with dementia who experience challenges in the evening hours:

“Nighttime can be treacherous for people with dementia, who are often struck by sleeplessness or night terrors and prone to wandering about. This agitation and disorientation, called ’sundowning,’ is especially vexing for relatives trying to care for them at home, and often hastens their placement in nursing homes.”

Despite the high number of daycare programs for those with Alzheimer’s, ElderServe at Night, which has served residents for a decade, is likely the only program of its kind in the country.

Here’s how Elderserve at Night works

So here’s how it works: program participants are picked up from their homes at 7 p.m. and stay at the Hebrew Home until 7 a.m. While at the Hebrew Home, participants partake in anything from midnight walks to outdoor dance parties to massage and light therapy.

In 1998, Daniel Reingold, who now serves as President & CEO of The Hebrew Home, saw a need. Family caregivers he spoke with shared “horror stories” about the measures they would take to keep their loved one from wandering at night. These measures ultimately led to sleep deprivation and early facility placement. Reingold joined forces with David W. Pomeranz, the home’s associate executive director, to take typical day care programs and offer them at night.

Another highlight of the program is the emphasis on non-pharmacological interventions:

“Rather than give agitated patients mood-altering drugs, ElderServe aides might lead them by the hand into a softly lighted room, slip off their shoes and socks, and massage their feet with a warm washcloth.”

What a great program! And it’s a win-win, really: Burdened caregivers get respite from their caregiving duties, and most importantly, sleep, allowing them to better care for their loved one during the day. Those suffering from Alzheimer’s get the care and attention they need, no matter what time it is; many even flourish in this setting because the program provides companionship and meaningful activities instead of sleeping pills and alarmed doors.

Adult day care is a growing industry. My hope is that adult “evening” care will follow suit.

- Michelle Seitzer is a blogger for SeniorsforLiving.com, which provides information and resources about senior care and senior housing.

More by Michelle on senior care and housing

Women keep each other afloat (Photo by Oddsock)

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Doing some housekeeping today, I dove way back into the contents of Women Day By Day and found some articles our newer readers may have overlooked. Here, then, are some of the best web articles for women from Women Day By Day.

Sexy Stories for a Hot Summer Beach Read

Women in need find recovery and independence

Low Cost Activity Books for Young Children and Moms

Pro-Life Thinking: Understanding the Basics

Pro-Choice: The Basic Issues

Aging Tissue Can Be a Risk Factor for Breast Cancer

Lose Weight or Lose Yourself - Truths About Dieting

Resources for Military Women, Women Veterans and Families

Women-Fix Your Own PC? Windows Ailing? Tips from Computer Guru

Our site for writers and freelancers

Take a look at some of these and then dip into our archives. Tell me what you think - add your comments or contact me about doing a guest blog! I want to engage with you.

Making reasonable changes with cosmetic surgery. This is an article I did for the Chicago Daily Herald some time ago. It occured to me, after my daughter decided on cosmetic surgery, that we need to be careful with our choices.

Cosmetic surgery