You know how it is to turn over a new leaf, like vowing to eat only healthy foods from now on. Parenting teens feels like that. You start confidently, in complete control, armed with facts and tips from books and friends. You dig in, go all out for a flashy few weeks or even a few months, and then find yourself sliding downhill. How did you lose your footing?

When my first child, Matt, turned 13, I had this feeling of pride; like I had somehow done something cool. I don’t know about you, but I eagerly anticipated the next few years. We could grow together. Learn to become friends and work our way through challenges that, surely, a well-prepared family could navigate. I was an avid reader. I watched Oprah at least a couple of times a month. I clearly remembered my own teen years. Really. I did. This job would be as easy for me as finding dust bunnies under the bed.

At first it was like diving off a new springboard. A couple of practice bounces - graceful poise - a well-choreographed swan into crystal waters. We encountered an occasional wave, sure. But being a close family with love on our side, we sliced through untroubled waters. Life was good. A little rocky, maybe. But nothing I couldn’t conquer.

Then Matt was 14 and some months. Aren, my second son, turned 13. Two teenagers. Ok, a little bumpier. A surprisingly short time passed and I felt like my waterwings had sprung a leak and my springboard lost some oomph.

Without much warning, my two cooperative, well-mannered sons metamorphosized. They looked different. Acted different. They weren’t precisely aliens but the similarities were alarming and my competent-serene-mother gig capsized.

I was up against issues that felt scarier than they seemed in books. Our lives were touched, in varying degrees, by gang issues, kids doing drugs, social rivalries, girl trouble and stuff I thought would never come close to us. I lost it. You should have heard me yelling. Should have seen me waving arms, dreaming up wild consequences for transgressions. I lost my grip more often than I cared to admit.

The feeling wasn’t unlike the panic when healthy eating regiments slip out of control. What do you do? Give in? Give up? Revert to old patterns? Throw your hands up in helplessness?

I worried. These were my kids. I loved them, but keeping on top of the challenges was not fun. Should I act like parents who throw hands in the air and give up? Tempting, but dangerous.

Hiding my head isn’t my style. I’m a face-it-and-find-a-solution woman. I did some serious rethinking about the realities of life with two people struggling to become adults, fighting to hang on to childhood, and desperately seeking independence -

It’s Earthday! In your own special way, hug a tree today. Add one green idea to your routine - even something small. I know, Ellen Degeneris, Barbara Walters, CNN, GMA and everyone else is admonishing you to celebrate Earth Day, but why not? It’s the only planet we have.

Three easy Earth Day ideas:

1. Recycle newspaper. Nothing else, if you don’t want to, just those daily papers.
2. Plant one tiny bed of localized plants in your yard. Choose those that tolerate your weather, soil conditions and pests so you avoid chemicals and wasting water.
3. Manage your document printing efficiently. Use the lowest weight paper you can for each job. Recycle paper. Print only what you need. Never print a Web site for future reference - it’ll be there, just go back and look at it when you need it.

More about Earth Day

Humor is just the ticket today. I need some humor. A good laugh. An old joke. Maybe you do too. Dunno where this came from.

Barack Obama’s spontaneous remarks

I found this link after hearing a soliloquy on Boston Legal saying more than 6000, SIX THOUSAND military and ex-military people (that’s PEOPLE, not soldiers, recruits, or resources…it’s dead PEOPLE, men and women who no longer exist on this Earth).

CBS has released some casualty numbers: “At least 120 Americans who served in the U.S. military killed themselves per week in 2005, CBS News learned in a five-month investigation into veteran suicides. That’s 6,256 veteran suicides in one year, in 45 states.”

Add that to the 4,000 killed outright in this WAR. Then factor in those who died after coming home, those maimed, and those who will suffer consequences for life with damn little help from their country.

In Memorium

Away they have gone

To a far land

No longer to come again

Never to hold my hand

All that now remains

Are lovely unwashed memories

Which are like footprints on sand

From pravsworld.com