Thistle Farm, a manufacturing subsidiary of Magdalene, the awesome residential program for women, is one of my favorite women organizations. Magdalene provides a do-over for women who have encountered serious problems and Thistle Farm provides a unique work environment where women manufacture quality personal care products for women.Terry Mitchell and Caitlin Bradley of Thistle Farm give us insight into working in a hen house - figuratively.

Estrogen on the job - working in an all-women environment

By Terry Mitchell with Caitlin Bradley

Terry sits in a circle of her co-workers, listening to two women discuss the production schedule for the day. She is relocated to a tennis-match-style discussion watching opinions bounce back and forth around her as she turns her head left to right. “Sometimes everybody wants to be the boss instead of the employee,” Terry explains.  “Too many captains on the boat!”

Terry is in the unique position of working at a company that is run and staffed by women only. Thistle Farms is a non-profit business operated by the women of Magdalene, a two-year residential community for women with a history of prostitution and drug addiction. By hand, the women create natural bath and body products that are as kind to the environment as they are to the body. All proceeds support the program.

Terry finds that working with women allows for more laughter throughout the workday. “We can all relate to each other and more importantly, for the most part, we all enjoy each other.” With a relaxed boss (often seen entertaining by dancing to hip hop), Terry boasts that Thistle Farms has a comfortable work environment. In rare high stress situations, laughter proves to be helpful.

You might think working with all women means not having to think about what you wear to work.  However, Terry puts her best effort into getting ready each day, regardless of who’s there.  “I’m not trying to impress anyone, but I want to feel proud of how I look.” This is a central theme as we manufacture our bath and body products  at Thistle Farms. We all make each product with the belief that love heals, and it is, therefore, critical to care for yourself.

Of course, there are some downfalls to working around a bunch of estrogen. Stereotypically or not, when a few women are on the same cycle, stress and mood swings can be high. But women working together have the unique opportunity to actually talk about their emotions. Women here can say what they’re feeling, rather than hide it. We try not to rely on the “excuse of PMS.”

Talking about personal feelings is not only accepted, it’s encouraged at Thistle Farms. Terry enjoys putting herself out there as a safe haven for co-workers to express their personal problems, “I’m a shoulder or an ear when they need it.” Terry says this open spirit of conversation can lead to complaining. but that’s something she can accept.

Terry has worked with Thistle Farms for almost five years. Always surrounded by other women, with everyone feeling and processing their own stuff and own emotions, she has learned a valuable life lesson: “People can create their own confusion, but I don’t let anything bother me. I just give it up to God and let it be.”

by Michelle Seitzer, SeniorsforLiving.com

I may have found my new dream job: just check the June 12 edition of the New York Times for the article titled “Dusk-to-Dawn Therapy for Dementia’s Restless Minds.”  The Hebrew Home at Riverdale (in the North Bronx, NY) boasts an amazing program called ElderServe at Night, dedicated to serving those with dementia who experience challenges in the evening hours:

“Nighttime can be treacherous for people with dementia, who are often struck by sleeplessness or night terrors and prone to wandering about. This agitation and disorientation, called ’sundowning,’ is especially vexing for relatives trying to care for them at home, and often hastens their placement in nursing homes.”

Despite the high number of daycare programs for those with Alzheimer’s, ElderServe at Night, which has served residents for a decade, is likely the only program of its kind in the country.

Here’s how Elderserve at Night works

So here’s how it works: program participants are picked up from their homes at 7 p.m. and stay at the Hebrew Home until 7 a.m. While at the Hebrew Home, participants partake in anything from midnight walks to outdoor dance parties to massage and light therapy.

In 1998, Daniel Reingold, who now serves as President & CEO of The Hebrew Home, saw a need. Family caregivers he spoke with shared “horror stories” about the measures they would take to keep their loved one from wandering at night. These measures ultimately led to sleep deprivation and early facility placement. Reingold joined forces with David W. Pomeranz, the home’s associate executive director, to take typical day care programs and offer them at night.

Another highlight of the program is the emphasis on non-pharmacological interventions:

“Rather than give agitated patients mood-altering drugs, ElderServe aides might lead them by the hand into a softly lighted room, slip off their shoes and socks, and massage their feet with a warm washcloth.”

What a great program!  And it’s a win-win, really: Burdened caregivers get respite from their caregiving duties, and most importantly, sleep, allowing them to better care for their loved one during the day. Those suffering from Alzheimer’s get the care and attention they need, no matter what time it is; many even flourish in this setting because the program provides companionship and meaningful activities instead of sleeping pills and alarmed doors.

Adult day care is a growing industry. My hope is that adult “evening” care will follow suit.

- Michelle Seitzer is a blogger for SeniorsforLiving.com, which provides information and resources about senior care and senior housing.

More by Michelle on senior care and housing

Our guest blogger, The Mother, sets some too-casual mommy bloggers straight today. It’s a newer genre in the blogosphere - mommy blogs. Some are terrific and funny like Mother’s Handbook or interesting like Chicago Mom’s Blog, some are just there to scratch their own itch. The Mother believes all bloggers have an obligation to readers. Have a look.

Does ownership of a uterus and access to a computer create expertise?

by  The Mother

I’m a doctor.

I don’t just play one on TV. I did my time. Medical school, a residency, a fellowship—preparing for an academic career. I do my CME, and keep up with the latest developments.

I’m also a mom. And that is where things occasionally get weird.

When I wore a white coat to work, people treated me with respect. They might not always have agreed with me, but my position guaranteed that I would not be treated with contempt. And yet, as a mom, strangers actually had the gall to come up to me and tell me that I was doing it wrong!

At the pool, slathering sunscreen on my (white, white) kids. “You shouldn’t put sunscreen on children that young. It’s not good for them.” So sunburns are?

At the mall, feeding my three year old an ice cream cone so he’ll sit still while I nurse the baby, “You shouldn’t bribe your kids with sweets. It’ll create a life-long eating disorder.” Yeah, right. He won’t even remember this tomorrow.

At the school, when, regardless of the fact that it was 40 degrees, my son had refused to wear pants OR a sweater, “You really should bundle them up better. They’ll catch pneumonia.” Umm, ever heard of BACTERIA?

For the first few years, I tried to be polite to these idiotic buttinskis (Okay, okay. I didn’t make it to years. I don’t think I even made it to MONTHS). Then I thought that perhaps I should just wear my white coat when I was out with my kids. Fair warning, along the lines of, “DON’T tell me your wives’ tales. I’m a doctor, dammit!”

What has this got to do with blogging? Stick with me, I’m getting there.

Six months ago, I started blogging. I did this mostly to practice my (non-technical) writing skills, and maybe to get a little notice from publishers. I decided to tell the myriads of stories I had stocked up from raising four brilliant, but strange, boys–and the myriads of stories I had stocked up about the people who tried, desperately, to make my life miserable while raising those boys.

So, technically, I’m a mommy blogger. But I discovered, pretty quickly, that I did not exactly fit in.I did what the blogger gurus tell you to do—wander around the blogosphere, leave comments on the big blogs, and try to build traffic by getting noticed. Two things hit me in those first rounds:

1) There are a lot of very talented writers out there.

2) Those wives’ tales? They’re everywhere.

I managed, over those first few weeks, to alienate myself from several of the top mom blogs. They don’t like to be called out on their “facts.”

I’ve read mom blogs where, when challenged about her medical facts, the author’s response was, “I called my mother, who is a nurse’s aide, and she said…”

I’ve read mom blogs that listed all the great ways you can lose weight. Including acai berries and high colonics.

I’ve read mom blogs that give equal weight to Jenny McCarthy and her anti-vax movement as they do the CDC (and the American Academy of Pediatricians, and…). Often more.

The internet is almost entirely responsible for the current, immensely dangerous, anti-vaccination movement. It would never have been able to take hold without the mass misinformation capabilities of the world wide web. Mom bloggers often defend themselves with, “It’s just my opinion.” But how can you have an opinion about an area you do not understand?

Do mom blogs have a responsibility to get it right? I would argue that they do. If they have a readership, the readers have a right not to be misled. The FTC has decided that bloggers are responsible for their content, when it is paid for. I think bloggers are ethically responsible to their readers, even when it is not.

I’m not saying that all mommy bloggers need a medical degree. I am suggesting that a little “street smarts” about sources is a good plan.

Failing that, bloggers should steer clear of topics that they do not have the resources to research correctly. Blog away about diapers and the brilliant thing your kid said yesterday.

But leave the wives’ tales and misinformation to the professionals.

The Mother has a medical degree, four children, and a total irreverence for the way things are supposed to work. She blogs at Mother’s Handbook, about the people who make mothers’ lives miserable. Including, occasionally, the children.

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If you’d like to read more on blogger/writer responsibilities, try Maryan Pelland’s guest post at ProBlogger.

Want to read more about moms? Try How to Journey Forward when Aging Parents Need Supervision

 

Here’s a treat! Well-known Broadway actress, dancer, director and web entrepreneur Joan Barber shares her tribulations of finding a dress for her daughter’s wedding in a delightful guest post, Where are the affordable clothes for real women? Thanks, Joan - I love keeping up with your new website 50toDeath!

Here’s the problem . . . my step-daughter (my only child) is getting married and NO ONE makes affordable clothes that I can wear.  Am I being petty?  I think not.  It’s important to me as a 21st century woman to be perceived NOT as an “aging hipster” or a “Betty White” type or a frump but as the vital, healthy, attractive person I think I still am - a real woman!

Or . . . am I kidding myself?  OK.  The K-Mart arms are creeping up on me, despite the fact that I wear a size 2.  So, that means no sleeveless.  The cleavage that I used to display with such elan (and that got me many roles as an actress) is maybe not as firm as it once was.  So, that means no low cut gowns.

The legs are definitely still good, thanks to walking on a regular basis in New York City and schlepping up and down subway stairs.  But my bunions (from years of dancing) kill me when I wear high heels, and no one makes shoes that work for my high instep without cutting into my hammer toes.  In ballet flats I stand a statuesque 5′1″.

And as for my cute little pancake butt . . . let’s not go there.

The event is approaching and I am slowly freaking out as I trek from high end department store to boutique to discount paradise.  I give myself what I assume to be a reasonable budget (buying the bride’s wedding dress kind of emptied my piggy bank) and plenty of time to shop, but all I see are teeny tiny prom dresses (where were those hot little strapless numbers when I was in high school?) and mother-of-the-bride frocks in which I look like a cute little dumpling wrapped in a doily.

Oh, for a stylist like the stars have!  I’ll never forget the episode of Project Runway where the designers cringed at the prospect that they were going to have to design for (”ugh gross”) MOTHERS of hot young babes.  The blue business suit in my closet starts to look better and better.  Hopefully I’ll just fade into the hydrangeas.

BUT NO  . . .  I may be over 50 (well, pushing 60) and I may not be an heiress, or tall and elegant, but one thing I am is a proud and strong child of the sixties, an actress, and a rebel.  I will be seen.  I’ve never faded from a challenge in my life!

This wedding is just like any show I’ve done in my over thirty years of performing.  I can play the role of step-mother-of-the-bride.  I may not have a Tony Award Winning costume designer sketching and a wardrobe department building my dress, but I can use my vision and experience, my wisdom and sense of perspective to zero in on THE DRESS.

I just have to become the character and “she” (THE DRESS) will find me.

And, like the blue Grecian goddess she is, she does find me . . . as do the comfortable, multi-colored sandals (found online). I’ll get to show off my cleavage and legs at the same time (without being too outrageous).  After all, the bride is supposed to be the star of the show and believe me, she will be.

Take a walk over to Joan’s website 50toDeath to see some really funny video slices of life in the boomer lane. Joan and her partners, Norm Golden veteran actor in 15 major films and numerous television projects, and equally prolific actor and writer Jon Freda, have built a delightful web of baby boomer-centric video entertainment.

Women keep each other afloat (Photo by Oddsock)

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Doing some housekeeping today, I dove way back into the contents of Women Day By Day and found some articles our newer readers may have overlooked. Here, then, are some of the best web articles for women from Women Day By Day.

Sexy Stories for a Hot Summer Beach Read

Women in need find recovery and independence

Low Cost Activity Books for Young Children and Moms

Pro-Life Thinking: Understanding the Basics

Pro-Choice: The Basic Issues

Aging Tissue Can Be a Risk Factor for Breast Cancer

Lose Weight or Lose Yourself - Truths About Dieting

Resources for Military Women, Women Veterans and Families

Women-Fix Your Own PC? Windows Ailing? Tips from Computer Guru

Our site for writers and freelancers

Take a look at some of these and then dip into our archives. Tell me what you think - add your comments or contact me about doing a guest blog! I want to engage with you.

Loss and grief are part of our lives; we can’t escape them. My very good friend Mickey shares her feelings with us as another of her friends travels a painful life passage. Mickey is a briliant woman with unwavering faith. Perhaps she’s the most centered woman I know.

He is a tall drink of water, as my mother used to say. Tall and trim with a soft spoken voice, he doesn’t bother to speak unless he has something worthwhile to say. He does not draw attention to himself, and seems perfectly content to quietly observe, reflect, muse. When he deems a response mandatory he is the embodiment of brevity.

I met him a couple of years ago, when he spoke in one of my graduate classes. Other than appreciating his gentle ways, I didn’t form much of an opinion of him at that time. Later, when a mutual friend suggested I talk with him about a challenging transition in my life, I sought his guidance.

This gracious man of endless patience sat with me through hours of soul emptying. I cried; he was the compassionate vessel for my tears. I narrated in full spectrum hues; he was objectively color blind. I raged at the darkness; he was opalescent light. Nothing I said was too shocking or irreverent. He remained the personification of acceptance. Of the many gifts he gave me during our time together, the greatest gift is this: he made me feel safe. By his kindness, I am healed.

Most people, I am told, pass through our lives. Reluctantly, I concede that this is true. Often I have missed the profound goodness that someone has brought me. Regrettably, I failed to see gifts offered and I overlooked them in ignorance. My freshly cleansed spirit longs to correct that inclination. New freedom and awareness sensitize me to a greater awareness of the unique importance of each person. I will respond more kindly now. He taught me how. I am so glad I did not miss it this time.

Today my friend is moving to a retirement care home far from here. It is unlikely that I will see him again. Today my thoughts center on him and the challenging transition in his life. I will mentally walk along side him, distantly communicating the strength, hope and love he persistently and generously gave to me. I am so very grateful and so painfully sad.

I miss him already. Grief takes time. Memories soothe my tender heart. Gratitude eventually heals.

Making reasonable changes with cosmetic surgery. This is an article I did for the Chicago Daily Herald some time ago. It occured to me, after my daughter decided on cosmetic surgery, that we need to be careful with our choices.

Cosmetic surgery’s goal is to make reasonable changes. A subtle change can profoundly impact self-esteem says Bradford Roberg, M.D., specializing in cosmetic surgery with Northern Illinois Plastic Surgery Center.

“Miracles don’t happen – even significant changes don’t make miracles,” says Roberg. “Remember, results are mostly permanent.”

When a surgeon alters the structure of the nose or face, it’s permanent. You’ll age, but you’ll look proportionately better, say experts, for the rest of your life. Liposuction is permanent if you maintain weight, and rejuvenation can last variable lengths of time.

Roberg says, “We can turn back the clock but can’t stop it.”

Before a surgeon rearranges your face, get the facts

Understanding that some procedures are major surgery and many are invasive means you have to make an educated choice, have the right motivation, and choose your doctor carefully.

Dr. Stephanie Marschall specializes in cosmetic dermatology with Plastic Surgery Consultans, Wheaton, IL. She works with her husband Dr. Michael Marschall, cosmetic surgeon, and advises you do your homework to understand what is involved, “Consult with a certified physician. Talk to more than one doctor if you don’t understand your options or have unanswered concerns.”

She continued, “Determine your issues and expectations – are they realistic? Don’t lock into a procedure because your friend did. There are no short cuts to good care and good treatment plans. Even if you feel you’ll benefit from a procedure, it might not be the thing you should do. Evaluate what will fit your lifestyle and never be afraid to say no. Have a budget and a provider you trust to help you create the right plan.”

The plan doesn’t have to include surgery. Non-surgical, non-invasive procedures like laser work are popular because there’s little down-time and discomfort. Those “soft procedures”  include skin care regiments, therapeutic options for sun damage or sun aging, chemical peels, collagen injections and treatments for blood vessel problems on legs and face.

Must every cosmetic procedure mean bleeding and scarring?

Dr. Michael Marschall believes the trend, even in surgeries, is toward the minimally invasive like brow lifts or midface lifts that can be closed with  one stitch.

A patient can often have combined treatments too, like pairing brows with a lid-lift to elevate the face and eliminate the little folds on the outside of the brows. The possibilities are endless as people flock to the surgeon’s office. Most people are happy with their results if they have chosen carefully.

Cosmetic work is very mainstream. People don’t get cosmetic procedures secretly anymore, they compare stories. Older men and women are getting lids, brows and faces lifted and men are finding the whole idea more and more acceptable.

But caution is the watch word. Choosing your doctor is the single most important step. Contact the ASPS (www.plasticsurgery.org) for referrals of board-certified surgeons, or check with the Plastic Surgery Educational Foundation.

Some practices offer packages - quick fixes - and even some spas go beyond what might be safe. If you choose those options, you may be devestated by the results.

There are varying reasons for the astonishing growth in requests for cosmetic procedures. People are more aware in general of the possibilities of surgical and non-surgical changes to face and body. TV, movies and news media are full of facts and non-facts. Americans are in overall better health and living more active lifestyles into far older years than ever before. Surgeons say their patients want to look and feel their best for the whole of their longer lives.

How to succeed with your new look:

• Stick with an American Board of Plastic Surgery Board-Certified plastic surgeon.
• Research how much of their practice consists of cosmetic surgery and how many procedures of the type you are considering they do.
• Make sure of the doctor’s credentials. Bargain healthcare brings nighmare results.
• Do something smaller than your first impulse  – set your sites on small improvements, not changing your whole look.
• Become as educated as you can be about the procedure, the possible outcomes, and the doctors in your area.
• Get educated in the appropriate way – the Internet has tons of info but some is inaccurate, dangerous or plain wrong. Go to the organizations that know this field.
• Find out the least invasion procedure possible to address your specific needs.
• Be realistic about your expectations and your desires.
• Don’t begin any course of treatment until all your questions are answered and you understand what to expect.
• Follow your doctor’s instructions to the letter. Your results depend upon you taking responsibility for your own treatment.